Bus Stops Are Places, Too

It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write anything creative. Even now, I’m typing, deleting, retyping, fretting over whether I start my sentences with too many vowels, and generally not feeling a huge vibe to write. Mayhaps, it’s just the creaking writing bones, the flabby muscles crying out myriad curses. All I know is, right now, generating even five sentences in this paragraph is a chore. There, I did it.

For the better part of a year, I think I’ve been dwindling intellectually, creatively, and spiritually. Most days, I just feel as if I’m a gear in a machine, one that serves no real useful purpose except in some sort of quirked out Rube Goldberg monstrosity. I think a Rube Goldberg Machine is a very fitting metaphor for society: perform a simple task but do it in such a inefficient, complicated, and baffling method that you’re just amused with the small job it accomplished. Well, you say as a bureaucratic twat cracks a knee up your nose, at least I got a demonstration of mechanics.

Consider for yourself. Agree? Disagree?

I’ve been in a depressive mood for almost two weeks. It’s the usual melange of feeling alienated, low energy, and no real drive to do much more than what I do most days, which is not much. I work, eat, internet, sleep, and that’s mostly it except for a standing Thursday invitation and the rare Saturday night out. So yeah, I’m in rut and that is a huge factor.

Also, let’s be honest,, since El DuCheeto took office, it’s been one nightmare after another. So Jerry Falwell’s son and a member of the Amway scam family are in charge of education? Fantastic! Privatize the Corporation for Public Broadcasting? Tier the Internet? Our lives becoming the mutant, bastardized incorporation of The Handmaid’s Tale, 1984, and Brave New World? Even if these are things that never come to fruition, the idea of living on this sort of knife edge can make anyone loony.

And I’ve been a card non-carrying member of the Loony Society since lunchtime. Take a seat and enjoy the performance art.

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Note on the title: I apparently have taken the New Order method of naming posts. Enjoy!

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One thought on “Bus Stops Are Places, Too

  1. I think the hardest thing to do is be creative; it seems to happen best with me when I am feeling fairly well–and when nothing is on fire. I have often wondered how some people churn out story after story, especially when they are poor or working a demanding job. And then I remember that though I’m technically a genius (as are many of my friends), it is our emotional I.Q. that more correctly predicts our successes or failures and our views of those things (such as happiness or sadness). If you don’t know what Emotional I.Q. is, there was a book written about it some years ago that I read, and it honestly helped me more than a lot of my therapists. The higher one’s emotional I.Q., the more one realizes that being successful is largely a matter of being happy, and to be happy, one must adjust and learn how to fill those emotional needs. If I write a best seller, I will be thrilled, but it can not alone make me “happy” or even allow me to feel successful.

    One of the best things I ever did was create (yes, create) a writing group. My first taste of a writer’s group was in Clifton, when I met in my apartment with several mutual friends to merely talk about our projects and aspirations. When I moved to North College Hill, another small group was created to fill that need (I still want to read the rest of that story you wrote!). When I moved out East, there was none where I lived, so me and a few people got together and made one in the most unlikely of places. I go once a week (Thursdays, unfortunately) and whether I draw wisdom from it or not, I draw happiness. After more than a dozen years, it’s changed a lot, but it has always been there. For me, if I cannot create that given week, I can still learn or teach. This works for me, because part of the creative process is learning or teaching. I get satisfaction out of both. This may not work for you, of course, but it has helped me immensely to find a niche in a world that largely kicked me out. I am productive, now, too. First, I finished Dajor (the novel I started back in College Hill) then I went on to write another. (A third and fourth novel is sloshing around, but I want to write sequels to both of the other novels first.) And finish my second book of poetry. Love and Hugs. L

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