mind chatter 050315

Stone on the outside, yet you want people to break through but you get angry when they don’t. Unfulfilled. You cut them on your jagged perspectives and that is only in retaliating for not wanting to dig beneath. Everyone’s got a job to do and you’re not it,

You cry when told you’re worthy of love. You don’t believe it. What happens when someone finally admits to loving your whole self? You’re so scared that you don’t ever want it to happen again.

You refer to yourself in the second person when you’re all the time addressing your self. You externalize your own self and it makes it seem like you’re addressing someone else.

You… I, need to focus on lateral thinking in this situation. The direction you and I are digging isn’t creating sufficient help/need/facts/solutions.

Your/my palliative course isn’t working too well. You’re/I’m still a mess.

Trying to make some headway in this whole journey and I’m not succeeding. Or am I? There’s love and I’m so confused and my head is just a receptacle for noise and noise and more noise. I can sometimes shut it out, focus on breathing, let go, be blank. But always, the cacophony.

Is this what made the Lone Ranger mad? No fixed abode for anything sufficient up in here. No values, only vague allegiances. No coherent opinions, only formulaic other-people-words. Am I just an empty shell or a glass that takes in everything? A glass is never empty and a shell will either house a crab or sit nicely on a shelf somewhere. Or stay on the beach.

My cognitive distortions are many. You’re fighting many battles and you still can’t get past what you did and how you should be and why are you so shoulding?

And this is just surface shit. This is all of the crap on the cover. What happens when you start really reading this book?

Bad craziness, indeed.

Everyone burns in the Hell of someone else’s religion. Y’know, it isn’t accurate to say that Heaven and Hel don’t exist but that they’re paradoxical. One religion’s saved/accepted/anointed/etc. pilgrim are in another religion’s Hell as a non-believer, even though they are Heaven-bound in theirs. A predator’s version of Heaven is Hell for the prey. If souls, then, exist in both Heaven and Hell, what does this mean? There’s a carrot on the stick? Bah! Why think about it? What is the significance in trying to attain glory if it comes at another’s expense?
If the US is the most Christian nation, as some would like to believe, should we not be seeking forgiveness from the world? Where’s compassion in the warmongering?

George Carlin is unlistenable after a certain point. He is redundant and irrelevant. Nihilist absurdity isn’t going to help us now. Snap. Crackle. Fuck him.


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