Back in one form or another of this blog, I did a couple of posts called Express Elevator To Hell. The gist of these posts were to take annoyances (embarrassingly, they’re all TV-related) and drop them on the HR Giger-alien infested colony on LV-426 from the movie, ALIENS. There, they would face a certain future of being an incubator for a horrible species of acidic-blood killing bastards. Or maybe not.
It’s been a while but I think it’s a perfect time to re-open this old can and start creating new passenger lists for the Sulaco dropship. Because today, I wanna send down…
GUN NUTS. Allow me to clarify. This is not for responsible gun owners, those who take the time to train themselves in the use, care, and maintenance of their weapons. I’m talking about the imbecilic morons who think the Second Amendment is so sacrosanct that it cannot be touched, that the words “well regulated militia” infers they have the Divine Right to own any and as many guns as they want. These are the same morons who see any attempts at addressing gun violence as some government attempt to confiscate all weapons and move us into an authoritarian style government. These same inflamed and irritated pustules of humanity think that by stockpiling guns and waving a Don’t Tread On Me flag that they’ll be ready to overthrow the tyrannical gubbamint. Which, coincidentally, only seemed to be tyrannical and authoritarian the moment a mixed race Democrat got into office. Where were you pusillanimous scum when Dubya and Congress were shredding the Bill of Rights?
These are folks with their head so far up their own asses that they would heckle the father of a shooting victim. or claim that the murder of several children and adults was a conspiracy perpetrated to take away their guns.
Okay, let me scale back. I’m not a gun owner. Personally, I think there’s a great deal of cowardice in being a gun owner — it takes wits and bravery to deal with situations using your brain or, as a last resort, your fists. Granted, that’s a purely Pyrrhic viewpoint as fists and brains can be shredded by bullets. But it’s more evolved to handle things mano a mano, in its literal sense. Sans guns. Sure, guns are macho, but so is chess. Sure, Ted Nugent loves the “Kill It’n'Grill It” ethos, but could that backwater simp last two rounds with Muhammad Ali in his prime?
Okay, I’ve spent way too much complaining. What about solutions? I have a few common sense ideas that, if followed, could curb gun violence:
- Require background checks for all private sale of firearms, also known as the gun show loophole.
- Gun licenses issued via mandatory six-week training on fire arm safety, care, maintenance, and storage.
- “Refresher” courses required every five years to renew gun license.
- Gun owners required to buy gun insurance.
- Ban ownership of all military-caliber weapons for private citizens, unless a competent active Armed Forces member or veteran.
- National public awareness campaign highlighting gun violence and dangers of guns.
It’s simple, people do not lose their guns. If you have guns, be responsible.
Certainly, this doesn’t pacify the more rabid or fervent gun worshippers. Hell, it probably wouldn’t pass muster with the NRA. Unfortunately, gun violence is a very real and pressing issue. If there is to be any rational and grownup dialogue, those voices — while they may be heard — cannot be allowed to impede progress towards making the gun culture safer.